Breaking Free: 5 Strategies to Overcome the Craving of unhealthy Love and Affection
- clawareness
- Sep 29, 2023
- 5 min read
Updated: Oct 2, 2023

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Many of us have experienced the overwhelming desire for love and affection that can sometimes lead us down a path of unhealthy relationships.
It's not uncommon to find ourselves in a cycle of seeking validation and attention from those who may not have our best interests at heart. Breaking free from this pattern can be challenging, but it's essential to our emotional and mental wellbeing.
In this blog post, we will explore five strategies that can help you overcome the craving for unhealthy love and affection, and start living a more fulfilling life. So let's dive in and discover how you can break free from these patterns!
1. Do Shadow Work to Discover Your Need For Love and Affection.
In personal growth and self-discovery, shadow work is a powerful tool.
It offers a unique approach to uncovering the deep-seated roots of our issues, enabling us to gain a heightened sense of self-awareness.
By delving into the shadows of our psyche, we can better understand how we tend to respond or react in various situations.
Armed with this knowledge, we can embark on a transformative journey, replacing adverse reactions with newly developed and healthier ways of being.
Shadowwork Journal Prompts:
1. When did you feel unloved/ alone in your childhood and early life? What impact does that have on you in your current life?
2. What behaviours do you judge in others most? Is it justified?
3. How do you instinctively regulate feelings of loneliness?
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Designed to assist in evaluating various areas of life, including affirmations, journal prompts, and tasks to eliminate distractions and promote personal development.
2. Make Your Life More Exiting.
After determining your values and interests, the following stage is to envision the life you would live while pursuing your passion.
Consider how you would spend a typical day.
Where will you be working?
Will you practice self-care regularly?
Who will you be spending most of your time with?
What kind of lifestyle habits do you intend to adopt?
What are you going to eat?
What will your financial situation be like?
How often will you take vacations?
Will you have any bodily alterations?
What will you wear?
These factors must be considered when sparking your enthusiasm for whatever you are developing.
The idea is to visualise and feel the emotions of those visions so that every day you are not just visualising but also experiencing your passion in reality, which will further enhance bringing your passion into reality.

Try These:
1. Grab a fresh, promising notepad, or just use an old one!
2. Eagerly open the blank paper.
3. Carefully draw a horizontal line in the centre of the paper using a pen/pencil.
4. On one side, write down – Activities that excite me.
5. And on the other side, write – Activities I wish to explore.
6. Write down as many things as you possibly can for each side ……
A bit like this

Develop Daily Self Care Habits

Caring for yourself may allow you to develop healthier ways of loving and caring for others.
Implementing Self-care routines will enable you to be so enveloped in self-love that you no longer need to project feelings of lack of love and affection onto others.
Sign up for your local leisure centre that provides sauna and steam, gym, swimming and even classes and venture into what makes you feel good.
Develop your creative skills through art.
Spend time in nature alone and ground yourself in your relationship with Mother Earth.
Sleep and wake up at the same time every day. Effects of waking up and sleeping at the same time every day
Meditate
Get regular manicures and pedicures, or learn to do it yourself.
Invest in monthly face and body massages.
Set Healthy Boundaries
Setting healthy boundaries is essential to significantly improving your relationships and overall well-being.
It involves establishing clear limits and guidelines for how you allow others to treat you and what you are willing to accept in your interactions.
By setting boundaries, you can protect your emotional and physical health, maintain your personal values, and foster healthier connections with those around you.
One of the first steps in setting healthy boundaries is recognising your needs and values.
Make a list of all the things you value in a relationship, then discuss a healthy way to implement these values with your partner/s or a friend or a family member.
Some examples:
Value:
Having a balance between spending time with yourself and with those you love
Boundary:
Dedicate days or times (depending on your flexibility) when you will spend quality time with a spouse, friend, or family each week.
Then the rest of the time, take your towards your self-care and work/projects.
Reminder: You don't have to allocate a whole day to spend time with those you love. A few minutes just talking on the phone can sometimes be enough.
Value:
Productivity
Boundary:
If you find that you are less productive when you're with a friend or spouse, choose not to spend time with that person until you've reached a certain level of productivity for that day.
Take Things Slow
In relationships, it's common for us to find ourselves wanting to fast-track the process.
We may feel a sense of urgency driven by a lack of trust in our partner, a fear of rejection, or even a fear of things not working out.
In these moments, we often find ourselves attempting to exert control over the outcome of every situation, mentally mapping out our futures with this significant other, and perhaps even entertaining thoughts of marriage a mere two months into the relationship.
One undeniable truth stands tall in life's uncertainties: nothing is ever guaranteed.
But there is truly something remarkable about the mutual affection between two souls.
There is a universal truth in the realm of love and relationships:
Building a healthy and long-lasting connection requires consistent and dedicated effort.
Like tending to a delicate garden, we must nurture and strengthen the love we share daily with our partners.
Through these intentional actions, we can cultivate a bond that withstands the test of time.
Getting to know someone requires ample time and patience, especially when uncertain about who you truly are.
Conclusion
To conclude, breaking free from the craving of unhealthy love and affection is not an easy task, but it is possible.
By adopting the strategies mentioned above and working on yourself, you can overcome this craving and lead a healthier, happier life. Remember, self-love and self-respect are crucial elements in this journey, and every step you take towards them is a step in the right direction.
So don't give up and keep pushing forward – you got this!
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